I'm doing a lot better since I last wrote. Thursday I had a sort of breakthrough in which I finally started to feel like myself and began moving around faster than I had been. Since then, I've had a reason to go out every day that isn't taxing -- a follow up doctor's appointment, an appointment with an accountant, going to a restaurant for lunch -- yet always leaves me exhausted. Not exhausted enough to sleep easily at night, unfortunately, but I'm just wiped out.
Tomorrow's my first day back at work, and I'm not quite sure how that's going to go.
This is really started to wear on me mentally. I've been sick for a full month now -- haven't felt like myself for a month -- and it's depressing. It's hard to look forward to seeing my coworkers again when I know it's going to tire me out.
It's tough to stay positive, and I'm doing my best. What I'm taking away from this is the perspective it's given me into the lives of people who aren't healthy and live life like this: constantly feeling worn down and having that consequence hang over your head. It really does start to dictate your decisions, and rightfully so, to a degree.
I'm thinking of elderly persons, or those, like my mom, with chronic conditions leaving them tired, out of breath or not motivated. I now know what it's like to be impeded by my energy level. At least when I've dealt with other injuries it didn't wear out my mind or my entire body; I just dealt with the inconvenience of the injury and dealt with frustrations from it -- still feeling quite emotionally involved.
No, I'm just bummed out.
It'll be fine, and hopefully, before I know it things will be back to normal. A month flew by; I'm sure the next couple of recovery weeks will, too.
Birds by Emiliana Torrini
5 years ago
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