Life Is So Good I'm Using a Friggin' Rainbow to Illustrate It

View from our rooftop after tonight's storm

I made two decisions recently:

1) Don't rush into my next job.

2) Book a trip to Italy.

The first comes after realizing I have the means to take the time off, so I'm going to. I have a little bit of a cushion in terms of finances, and I want to take a job that will make me really, really happy and give me what I'm passionate about.

The second is part of the above: Get away! Stimulate the senses! Take an adventure by myself and do what I want!

I booked an apartment for two weeks in Florence to sink my teeth in and use it as a base for day trips. Of course my time is filling up more than I wanted, but I'm doing my best to strike a balance between being on the road and layzing around -- specifically sitting in a cafe wearing a cute outfit while sipping an espresso, people watching and and writing my travel thoughts on napkins.

That's what I like to do when I travel. I don't have to be digesting a textbook worth of history or get led around by a jovial tour guide, although both can be fun. Instead, my number one goals it to find a neighborhood cafe that will become part of my daily routine -- a place where I can scribble (I'm constantly composing in my head when I travel solo) and then photograph it before I leave. The photo will inevitably stand in whatever my next work desk is, and I'll think back to those carefree hours I spent composing and drifting and daydreaming about Brian back home.

I'm going without Brian because, on a basic level, I have the time off of work for vacation and he doesn't. But I didn't let the sad thought of being without him for two weeks (did I mention I tear up when I think about it for more than 10 seconds?) stop me from going  because I need an adventure. He's still invited but not without my getting time to myself to do what I want and just.get. lost. I used to travel solo all the time! And while I wouldn't trade my travels with Brian for anything, I miss going at it on my own.

I might look back on 2010 and say the year I turned 30 was crazy: illness, a layoff, a bad-fit job, a spur-of-the-moment trip to Italy and who knows what else. But it's all good, and for that I'm lucky. Heck, getting laid off worked well because I wanted to move on in my career and hadn't found a job worth quitting for; getting so sick convinced me to eat organically as much as possible and get off the cray triathlete track; and that job that didn't work out told me to reject a position that didn't have what I'm passionate about: creative editorial.

Of course, my good attitude wouldn't be possible without the financial turnaround I experienced in the past year, supportive friends and the most encouraging boyfriend you could possibly imagine. Yeah, a year ago, my debt was so high God only knows what job I would have stuck with just to pay the bills. And those friends who I consider family? They said "Good for you!" and "I'm impressed!" when I told them I chose unemployment and devoted a chunk of my severance to Italy.

I never had to defend myself. You know how big of a difference that makes? It means not sounding stressed when I tell my story, walking taller and sleeping better at night. It's nice when you don't have to take a fuck-ya'll-I'm-doin'-it-and-I'll-prove-it's-the-right-move mentality.

Brian wants me to do what will make me happy and has supported me 1000%.  How could I not walk on air when I have him behind me? I leave the country knowing we keep getting stronger -- and this will make us stronger too.

So despite being a little in flux, life is good, and I'm genuinely happy.

2010 Part II: Bring It On.

A Toast To New Beginnings, Version 2.5.2

I last posted weeks ago about getting a new job. Since then, I've been working really long hours and giving my all, leaving me little time to workout or see Brian, let alone blog.

Here's my update: last week I gave my two weeks notice. That's crazy!, I hear you say. I think so too. The truth is, I took the job and realized the job responsibilities are not what I understood them to be -- and what I thought I wanted just didn't feel right.

It's no one's fault. The team and I interviewed each other, asking a zillion questions with growing excitement each time we were on the same page. Due diligence was done.

I just had to start the job to realize it wouldn't be right. Specifically: I need to have ownership of creative projects, such as creating editorial packages with lots of visuals and interactive elements. My current job has me brainstorming and helping other people do that until a special project happens to come along.

There were other permanent aspects of the job that wouldn't change that influenced me too. To make sure I wasn't just reacting on emotion -- the learning curve for the position is steep and the first couple weeks are overwhelming -- I consulted with mentors, talked to friends in HR, held proactive conversations with my managers and even quantified my unhappiness (I have a great formula, btw, if you're ever considering leaving a job).

I'm confident in my decision but regret the stress it'll put on the team and the money the company lost in training me. It was an investment in my time and emotion too. No one wants to quit in a situation like this.

But it was the right move, one that I've been told is much more common than I realize. And I'm psyched I know what I'm passionate about and what gets me ticking (visual, visual, visual -- and hopefully content dealing with food, Chicago or something of the sort).

Upward and onward: it'll work out! Maybe now I can tackle that list ...