Brian's Food

I, 23 Times Removed

Oops. It's been a few weeks since I've written. That's because I haven't really wanted to detail the New Bad News -- how my cousin's wife had cancer of the liver, bones, and brain diagnosed a month ago -- and the Formerly Bad but Good News, that my aunt had surgery because they suspected she had cancer (pre-cancerous growths, in the end, but not there yet). Who wants to hear all that? Not me. It's in my head already.

But since then things have been OK. And tonight I come off of three really good things:

1) A fantastic weekend with my eternally energetic, intellectual, ALIVE friend Cynthia. Cupcakes, multiple ethnic foods, and a play that -- of course -- was about sex and artistic men.

2) My first lecture and assignment for an advanced personal essay class.

3) Feedback from my managers that people are happy with me at work.

I'm still sorting through that compelling play -- mainly why I'm so attracted to it. The class, which I just signed into, is top of mind.

I recently wrote my friend Laura about this class, and she wrote back telling me how she admired I get excited about "assignments." I see it as someone challenging me to do something I love in a different way.

The first assignment is to write like a Joan Didion passage we read as part of our lecture: to write in first person without using "I."

I'm scared by this. I'd like to think that when I had my blog (no, I will not link to it, and even if I wanted to I couldn't) I avoided saying "I", and I think I did. But since then? I, I, I, I, I. This instructor managed to pinpoint why I've hated my writing for years. I couldn't figure it out.

In case you wondered, I used "I" 24 times prior to this sentence.

Let's see how "I" can reign that in.

Trying to Eat Healthy and Exercise Regularly? Ideas on How to Make It Work (And It Starts with Becoming Disciplined)

I had this weird stretch in my last job in which colleagues -- even ones I didn't know -- were constantly commenting on what I was eating, which usually wasn't fried, like their food, and was a smaller portion, unlike theirs. It got so bizarre that one woman who saw me filling up my water bottle with half-hot water, which is just something I do, turned to me and said, "See, that's why you're skinny. I'm gonna do that if you're doing that so I can be skinny too."

By the time she had said this to me, I had been facing comments for months, and I'd had enough. So I just told her, "I'm thin because I work out five days a week in the morning and I make sure to eat well 90% of the time," and I left the room.

I still am often asked what I do to stay at a healthy weight, albeit in much more normal and tactful? flattering? way. And I answer with the same basic answer: I eat healthy and exercise regularly.

Then, I usually end up listening to the person -- who knows very well that healthy food and exercise is important and who has the means to improve their lifestyle -- list excuses about why they're not doing either.

It's frustrating because they often make the assumption I don't face similar challenges  -- and that's what they are: challenges, not obstacles. Just because you don't have time for whatever reason to get a workout in doesn't mean you can't eat well. Just because you are on the road a lot and forced to eat restaurant food doesn't mean you can't make healthy decisions.

That's what it boils down to: constantly making decisions every time you go to eat and figuring out how to fit in exercise -- weighing good, bad, and ugly choices; thinking about it strategically; and being responsible.

Here's the best advice I can give to someone trying to be healthy for whatever end goal and trying to get into a sustainable routine. Because we all know it has to be sustainable to work, right?

• Stop the excuses. Find a way around the challenge, because there is one. Hitting a road block? Ask a friend for ideas or consult the Google machine.
• Devote money to your food budget. The sad thing about our society is that food that is bad for you is cheap and easy to put in the cart. If it means spending less money on gifts to people, entertainment, clothes, etc., do what you need to shift that money. Accept the sacrifice for the commitment.
• When you can't get a full workout in or go the gym, look for time you can take to do something elsewhere in your day -- stretching, lifting, walking, etc. Or accept a shorter workout and go to the gym anyway. Just get there or get moving so you can look at it as an accomplishment: I had no time to do X, but I made time to do Y.
• When you're not motivated and know you should work out, tell yourself that anything you do -- even if it's an easier or shorter workout -- is better than nothing.
• Can't workout at all? Make sure to eat healthy.
• Learn how to shop for food -- and keep easy-to-cook ingredients on hand for when you don't have time.
• Wondering what easy-to-cook ingredients are? Google them. 
• Make the right decision in the moment. Forced to eat takeout? Be that customer who asks for the grilled chicken sandwich without the cheese and mayonaise. 
• Except you're going to have to get creative on how to add flavor to food that isn't fried or covered in butter or mayonaise. 
• Don't cook at home with butter. If you must use butter, use actual butter, fat and everything. And don't go crazy on it. 
• Plan what you're going to eat or do for exercise for the week or that day.
• Then have a backup plan when life inevitable comes in the way.
• Give yourself options
• Use those options: variety is the key so you don't get bored, so you can react when your plan's foiled, and so your body is happy (cross training, different foods all work differnt muscles or provide diff. nutrients).
• Don't try to go cold turkey on anything food related. You'll torture yourself, and it's unrealistic. The point is to learn how to enjoy things like birthday cake and not go crazy -- either by overindulging or denying something you really, really enjoy.
• Don't set unrealistic goals you can't accomplish or follow-through on. Think short-term, or baby steps, and build on from there.
• Pay attention to how full you are.  Stop eating when you hit that point. If you're still hungry, eat. 
• Listen to your body. Think about how you feel and what you did that day that might be affecting you.
• Cook at home. Don't know how to cook? Learn how to boil water, make scrambled eggs, open a bag of frozen vegetables, etc. Even if you don't like to cook, determine what you need to do to avoid having takeout or restaurant food at every meal.
• If you're in the happy-to-splurge mode -- say, at a party or dinner with friends -- and are offered something that tastes bad, don't eat it and move on to something else.
• Save your calories for the good stuff.
• Talk about exercise and healthy food with people. Keep trying if you have a hard time finding like-minded folks.
• Make being healthy what you're known for. 
• Read labels; get educated; read the pamphlets HR hands out or your doctor talks about. Eat those foods. If it sounds bad, i.e. I can't imagine a baked potato without a slab of butter, find ways to (naturally) add flavor. 
• AVOID PROCESSED FOODS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Just do it, and you'll see. 
• Don't overdo it and become too concerned that it stresses you. This can be hard once you get into it, but trust me, you don't want to drive yourself nuts.
• Find what works for you -- what makes you feel healthy and satisfied that you're doing something and are showing improvement.

I know I'm writing this with a lot of attitude, and it's mainly because of my beef with American society's food culture. My hope is that the people asking me for advice take a hard look at the areas you CAN control and can improve and go after them. Take ownership of your lifestyle!

While I recovered from pneumonia and could barely cross the room without losing my breath, I tried yoga. I was really doing very basic stretches for short periods of time, but I felt like I was doing what I could, as frustrated as I was.

Are you doing what you can?