Race Season's Over. Now What?

Each race day, I think to myself, Why I am doing this? This isn't fun. I'm not even competitive.

It's usually around 4 a.m. , when I have to wake up to make sure I arrive with enough time to set up my gear in transition. It's cold out, even in the summer. It's dark. I'm tired. And the thought of jumping in a lake, or hopping on a bike, or doing a 5k -- all to a stopwatch! -- is the last thing I want to do. I truly am not a competitive person until the heat-of-the-moment, so each month I spend training I question why I'm devoting so much time to a race in the first place. Heck, even in the heat of the moment I can't say that it's entirely fun.

Yesterday was the last race of my 2009 season, and I actually had fun, which is why I'm bummed it's over and leaves me question, now what? I wasn't as nervous as I normally am, and when I got in the water to find the 63 degree temp felt a helluva lot better than the 58 degree Lake Michigan temps I'm used to, I was able to get into it and even smiled to myself. There was chop, but I crawled and shot past the others (men, actually!) in my wave.

There was a 20 m.p.h. headwind on the bike that I could tell was destroying my hopes of beating my personal best record -- not the makings of "fun"! -- but I had a good view and knew I was doing my best.

I even stopped paying attention to how many people passed me on the run, my weakest leg. Despite excelling at the swim and bike, I get crushed at the run each time, which is a real downer when you pass or even fly by others in the swim and bike. But yesterday, I didn't care I was the slow poke. I was having too much fun.

I work out 5-6 days a week, four of them at 5 a.m. It can be kinda stressful, but once my last race of the season is over (this year, the Chicago Triathlon), I head into the month of September to recover. I'll eat what I want, toodle around on my bike instead of speed, switch to a slower stroke in the pool -- if I go at all -- and maybe do some yoga. But nothing else. And certainly not at 5 a.m.

Which leaves me to wonder: what now? Triathletes are a committed bunch, and I thrive on that goal and routine. I might have a goal -- to recover -- but it's not easy to shake a mindset of 10 1/2 months.

I'll survive, but it'll be weird. We'll see.