10 Tips for Wedding Planning Success

The three months prior to our wedding and up until moments before I walked down the aisle, my attention had to be focused on my parents' health. While not the build-up every bride dreams of, we still had an amazing time -- and our guests call it one of the best weddings they'd attended. 

I'm proud of the fact that I started out completely overwhelmed by the thought of planning a party for 150 people and ended up throwing a great one. I know we came out on top not just because of the support I had but because we made key decisions throughout the planning process that set us up for a great event.

Our friends and family ask me how I did it. Here's my advice that could apply to any bride:

1) Choose the right vendors. Everyone we hired met the following criteria:

• We loved their their portfolio. Sounds basic, but we didn't choose anyone out of guilt (say, because it's a friend in the business), because it was convenient, because of "the name," etc.
• There was no "chasing them down" on our end. If I placed a call or sent an email, I received a reply within a reasonable timeframe. We crossed potential vendors off our list when we realized they struggled to answer a simple inquiry. I couldn't imagine dealing with that month after month -- let alone on our wedding day.
• I trusted and respected their opinion, and they listened to mine.  
• We liked their personalities. We knew they'd be with us on one of the most important and emotional days of our life, so if they drove us crazy during a proposal meetings, we knew it wouldn't be fun the day of.
• They didn't push us. Society puts enough pressure on brides. The last thing I needed was a vendor pushing me to do something I didn't want to do. 
• My husband approved. The day wouldn't be just about me, so I wanted to make sure he had input and approved of the big decisions. Signing off on vendors is one of them.
• They were willing to work within our budget. And if we needed to adjust, they always had equally compelling alternatives. 
• They had solid, realistic replies to, "What's your back up plan in case an emergency happens on our wedding day?"

In short: we hired professionals.

2) Treat it as a business project tied to a dollar amount for which you are responsible. This doesn't mean cutting out all the emotion; it just means not letting emotion take over decisions about budget or get in the way of your being professional. Run your wedding planning as a project with standards your work boss would approve of and you'll have a great event.

3) Narrow choices down to two or three; make a decision; move on. You will continue to see many beautiful, great ideas throughout your planning process. Yes, make a change if needed, but don't look for the sake of looking. After I decided on my bridesmaid dresses and colors, for example, for my own sanity I skipped that section of bridal magazines and spent my time researching whatever was next on my list.

4) When you have downtime, work ahead. There will be lulls. During them, I would imagine how crazy brides get the month before their wedding and used that as motivation to take care of as much as I could beforehand. Sometimes people interpreted my working ahead as doing too much. I'd reply, "I don't know what I'll be like the month before my wedding, so if I can get it done sooner, I will."

This worked out, and for different reasons than I imagined: my dad was in the hospital the entire month prior to our wedding and only got out four days before, when he and my mom still needed assistance. I was thrilled not to have to be taking on anything beyond what was necessary.

5) Look at photojournalists' photos of weddings and pick one whose mood shows what you want your day to be. Tell your friends, family, and vendors what you envision, and make choices that support it. I found a photo of a bride doing a breakdance move on the dance floor and wanted to have as much fun as her -- but I knew I had to plan and mentally prepare to be that carefree. (I think we ended up having more fun that that bride!)

6) Put thought into backup plans, and keep the ideas tucked in the back of your head. My cousin's wedding dress only arrived the week before her wedding, and because she needed major alterations, there was a fear the dress wouldn't be ready.  Remembering that, I made a note about how much I loved the dresses at Nordstrom's bridal suite and kept it in mind as an off-the-rack option if disaster struck.

7) Dish out responsibilities -- wedding-related or not -- whenever you can. There were definitely tasks I, as the bride, needed or wanted to do. But if I could, I handed them off. And in the month before the wedding when most of what was left fell on my shoulders, I accepted my husband's offer to help by having him do non-wedding errands, such as going to the post office or running to the grocery store.

8) But be strategic when handing out tasks. Don't give important duties to people you can't trust, whatever the reason might be. If Aunt Martha, who applies 1960s decor to anything she touches, offers to do the favors for your very classic wedding, find a different way she can help. Similarly, don't send your well-meaning friend who easily gets lost in the city to pick up your rings downtown during rush hour.

9) The day of the wedding, don't worry about having a perfect wedding! Adopt a "roll with it" mentality. Trust that, at that point, you've done everything you can to set it up for success and let go. Have fun! Because if you can do that, when the inevitable hiccup comes up, you'll be able to laugh at it and not have the rest of your day ruined. It rained on our big day, and although we had to make a few adjustments, I'm convinced the outcome was just as awesome as if it were sunny.

10) Let this guide you: The day is yours and your partner's. Everyone has an opinion; do what is right for you. If boundaries with family or friends need to be set, be polite, but set them. You want to look back and know that you made the choices you wanted and that any compromises were ones you were comfortable with.

***

Want to see a snaphot of our wedding?


Brian and me: Love Like a Sunset. Video by Leap Weddings.

Me, getting ready: Us. A Video By Leap Weddings.

ASBPE Blog Post: Content Strategist vs. Writer: What's the Difference?

It's been a while since I've felt like writing more than a status update about my life, but I'm in the mood for a quickie. Here's my latest post for ASBPE: Content Strategist vs. Writer: What's the Difference?

I think it's critical to understand these roles as organizations continue to invest in content strategy and re-shape their communications departments' structure and function.

Switching from Editor to Content Strategist? Consider These Questions First

Content strategy is a hot term, and consequently it's become a hot job and job skill. Plus, companies are using -- and hiring -- content strategists, and those companies are generally outside of publishing. That means they pay better.

Throw all those factors in, and editors might start to wonder whether life as a full-time content strategist is right for them.

I wrote a blog post for the American Society of Business Publication Editors addressing the questions editors should consider before making the switch. Of course, the list applies to anyone. Read on.

What's Going On

Here's the latest and greatest, without prose:

* Wedding plans are going swimmingly.
* I decided to do the Pleasant Prairie tri a week before the race and set a personal record of 1 hour, 23 minutes. (The perfect weather helped.)
* My posts for ASBPE on content strategy have led a few association trade pubs to interview me.
* My dad's cancer has turned aggressive. We're hoping that he can still have necessary surgery to remove his bladder now that he's had a mini-stroke -- from which he's recovering magnificently, btw.
* Food is still fun.
* I'm doing my best.

More at some point.

Strength to All

My cousin's wife passed away less than 24 hours ago. I can't imagine what's going through his head, or what their two sons (12 and 15 or so -- clearly old enough to know what's going) are feeling. I can't imagine, and I don't want to imagine.

I hadn't seen them in years; family schedules just didn't mesh, and admittedly, priorities didn't either -- and there's no blame on anyone's end. Our family's complicated. But just because we aren't close doesn't mean I can't feel horrible for the tragedy they're going through.

We found out about five weeks ago that Cindy had cancer -- I think it was of the liver, bones, and brain. Whatever it was, it moved fast.

She had battled breast cancer twice before, and then this.

So, I'm holding Brian tighter tonight, and I'm sending prayers their way. Wine might be involved.

God, I hate this wretched disease.

Brian's Food

I, 23 Times Removed

Oops. It's been a few weeks since I've written. That's because I haven't really wanted to detail the New Bad News -- how my cousin's wife had cancer of the liver, bones, and brain diagnosed a month ago -- and the Formerly Bad but Good News, that my aunt had surgery because they suspected she had cancer (pre-cancerous growths, in the end, but not there yet). Who wants to hear all that? Not me. It's in my head already.

But since then things have been OK. And tonight I come off of three really good things:

1) A fantastic weekend with my eternally energetic, intellectual, ALIVE friend Cynthia. Cupcakes, multiple ethnic foods, and a play that -- of course -- was about sex and artistic men.

2) My first lecture and assignment for an advanced personal essay class.

3) Feedback from my managers that people are happy with me at work.

I'm still sorting through that compelling play -- mainly why I'm so attracted to it. The class, which I just signed into, is top of mind.

I recently wrote my friend Laura about this class, and she wrote back telling me how she admired I get excited about "assignments." I see it as someone challenging me to do something I love in a different way.

The first assignment is to write like a Joan Didion passage we read as part of our lecture: to write in first person without using "I."

I'm scared by this. I'd like to think that when I had my blog (no, I will not link to it, and even if I wanted to I couldn't) I avoided saying "I", and I think I did. But since then? I, I, I, I, I. This instructor managed to pinpoint why I've hated my writing for years. I couldn't figure it out.

In case you wondered, I used "I" 24 times prior to this sentence.

Let's see how "I" can reign that in.